10 January 2026
Hi Mare. Let me open this with, “I love you and miss you”, as many who knew you do. We sure have been through a lot together, haven’t we? I think God had plans for us to meet way back when through Nursing. You were so patient with me as I learned about the paperwork involved with Home Health. I think that was even before the advent of cell phones and such. I do remember hearing you talk to your hubby at the end of the day. Probably, to let him know that you were on the way home or visa-versa. I didn’t know Jim then, but I could tell from the gentleness of your voice on the phone that you loved him.
Through the years you spoke of him with love in your heart, even when you were speaking to me about frustrations that us married folks go through. Each time I saw him come up behind you and hug you. Your face would light up. Oh, and Serena! There are no words to describe how much you both loved her, and how she loves you two. She obviously has been through a tough transition without you, but she is finding the right ways to deal with grief.
I’ve always thought that grief was hardest for those of us left behind rather than those with the foresight and knowledge of your declining health. We both have suffered through great losses in our life of loved ones. As they say, “It isn’t easy, but we have no choice.” To move on with our lives while yet missing you so dearly at the same time. We all have our own spiritual beliefs and are not to be judged on them nor to judge others. I have always felt a close spiritual, and in my heart, a knowing, that those that we’ve lost are always with us. You always talked about longing to move to Montana, so you would not fight being hot all of the time. Well, let me tell you Mare you would not ever have that problem in Vermont.
When I walk the back roads through the “boonies,” I take you with me. I talk to you and feel you with me. We’ve shared a whole lot of laughter spanning the decades of time we’ve known each other…too many times to remember. We were there for each other no matter what. Tears, laughter, cards, kids, ceramics, nursing, spouses, cats, and dogs. If one of us was down and frustrated, the other one would listen. Not always agreeing, but offering support. While reading your book I could hear your voice through your words and feel your usual witty sense of humor. You sure gave me some chuckles and smiles just as if you were sitting across from me. I was so excited for you to be able to hold your advanced copy of your book just days before your passing. To look at the cover you designed, words you wrote, your name on the cover! Jim, Serena, and I were so happy for you and what you had managed to accomplish. You had even planned out in your mind a second book. Thank you for sharing your excitement and sense of accomplishment with me, your best friend!
As you know, my thought process is random. You would always figure me out sooner than later. I wonder how many games of cards we played…definitely in the thousands! For Jim, not so many. The poor guy would start nodding off during our midnight games only several hours before he would have to go into his second job as a Baker at Publix. We thought of toothpicks, but many a popsicle seemed to do the trick as we would yell, “Wake up!” You’ve got to love the guy for trying. He was probably so glad when Serena became old enough to take his place at the card table or be his partner with Canasta. What fun we had! And Bunco…so many changes of folks we played with, but always so much fun. Our kids are grown now and we watch them live their adult lives with the same parental pride, worry, and love. I live yet a matter of feet from my son Steve now. Alex is still in Savannah working. I miss him so much and still have a hard time interpreting the words coming from his deep voice. Hopefully, I see him soon. I talk with and text Serena when we both have a chance. I try to let her know that I will always be there for her. I think she knows that now! She just recently mentioned that she played cards at a friend’s house. She was the aunt this time with their son Finn.
I am both happy and sad that these times are gone for us, but oh so very grateful for the memories. There is so much love in my heart Mare, and I know you feel as I do. You ALWAYS have been and ALWAYS will be my very wonderful and closest friend. I know I never have to say good-bye, as you are still with me every day!
I Love You,
Your Jude
