Unforgiveness can create such bondage and hurt if it is allowed to fester too long. For that reason, Paul, in his letter to the Ephesians 4:26,27 instructed them to “ NOT let the sun go down on their anger, nor give place to the devil.” That hurt that turns to anger can yet grow to hatred. By not confronting the source and making peace or “agreeing to disagree,” it festers and places that person in spiritual bondage, greatly affecting their relationship with God and their brethren. Their heart becomes hardened and their ears stopped up from listening to good counsel. This never ends well. Many families and friendships have been dismantled through this trap of the devil.
In Matthew 28:21-35, an enormous servant’s debt of close to a billion dollars by today’s figures was forgiven by the king. This servant, however, could not find it in his heart to yet forgive a fellow servant of a much smaller debt (3 month’s salary) afterwards. The king, upon hearing of this lack of mercy, threw him in prison to be tormented until his original debt was paid. Likewise, our Father has forgiven us of such an enormous debt of sin. Jesus stepped in and paid it and likewise asks us to follow His lead. This parable, interestingly, was given because of Peter’s question, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to 7 times? Jesus said to him, ”I do not say to you up to 7 times, but up to 70 times 7.” There is no limit to God’s compassion and forgiveness. Likewise, He expects us to follow His lead and to love and forgive all—even our enemies!
Mary in Chapter 29 (Forgiveness and Family) of her book, addresses this command in relation to her family. She walked this path of unforgiveness and hurt. She shared how He helped her to overcome that root of bitterness in her life. In the final years of her life, I watched as God softened her and brought her to that place where she chose to forgive. He then healed her hurts, freed her from that bondage, and allowed her to be a living example of the power of God’s love to those that “knew her! The final words of that chapter are what Pastor Tom Mims, who presided over her funeral months later, looked for as he read over the book days before her service’. “I long to say and mean with all my heart that I am walking in peace with everyone and that I hold no offense against anyone—that I have forgiven all things.” Wow, but God!
She also had such presence of mind in her final months, as she awaited the arrival of her book, to scribe individual letters to every member of her immediate family. These were her final thoughts, regrets, praises, memories, and wishes for them to know one on one. No opportunities for doubts or hurts or “twisted words.” She wrote plainly and directly to each. Words of hope, challenge, pride, love, and forgiveness to carry each of us into the future without her there. I had the honor and esteemed privilege of delivering these to each member. Thoughts of Tychicus and Onesimus delivering the Epistle of Colossians came across my mind. LOL! Seriously, she was a great communicator, and the Holy Spirit led her to deliver those final messages of UNFORGIVENESS & LOVE to her family. They needed to be written and read over and over again as a message of hope and victory from one who walked the walk and OVERCAME hurt and unforgiveness in her own life. What a great example for others to follow! So often when a loved one passes, the grief period is lengthened because there are many doubts and regrets holding them back from going on. These letters aided us then and many times over as we began our lives anew without her. In conclusion, I would implore you to NOT WAIT until tomorrow to FORGIVE. We are not guaranteed a tomorrow. Do TODAY what you can do while it is still yet today. As He says in Mark 11:25 and Matthew 6:14, “Whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, FORGIVE HIM, that your father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses.” Unforgiveness will not only block your prayer life, but it will destroy the beauty of your life and change it forever. Take that step and CHOOSE TO FORGIVE. Then let God be God!
